The grass might be greener on the other side of the fence, but then again…..
Sometimes certain events and things in life feel like they are just beyond your reach. Other times certain events and things are on the other side of the damn fence.
Many years ago, a friend of mine in high school kept telling everyone she was fat. She used to look at us in the locker room and comment on how skinny so and so was and she would lament on her “fatness”. Confusion set in because I was not sure why she had an issue with herself because she looked fine to me. Fuck it, she looked HOT! Granted, we all have different definitions of what “fine” or “hot” looks like. All the while, she continued to marvel at others and how much they were better than her.
I finally told her to stop fishing for compliments and validation. It was time for her to appreciate all that she has: a great family, amazing skin, fantastic personality — one that made everyone feel good about themselves aside from her severe issues of insecurity. I rattled on about all the qualities and skills she had that made her totally kick ass, but she just kind of had a glazed over look on her face.
In retrospect, what teenager has oodles of self-worth without a single ounce of uncertainty? If you know one, let me know. I’d love to shake their hand and learn their secret. I’ve worked the high school arena for years and haven’t met one.
Each time she knocked herself down, I wondered why she continued to ignore her own treasures. Sometimes we are just so focused on what we don’t have that we forget to embrace what we do have.
I am not innocent in this . There have been times when I have looked on the other side of the fence and wonder what life was like over there. Was there a land filled with chocolate? Filled with never-ending happiness? Did it have big families and gobs and gobs of people that built each other up?
When I do find myself looking at the lives of others and wishing… I remember the wise words of that same friend who would think she was fat. She said:
If you want a small part of my life, then you have to take all the experiences of my life. It is those experiences that shape that small part you see.
Such profound words from an amazing person who had so much insecurity.
The strange thing is: she still continues to make a difference in my life and does not know it. For her, I am thankful for all the shit that is on my side of the pseudo fence. I am fertilizing the hell out of my side and living life to the fullest.
Also, if you want, you’re more than welcome to come join the party because the fences shouldn’t be a barrier that prevents us from sharing all of the treasures we offer as human beings. We ll have baggage that weighs us down and leaves us wishing…
Let’s do it together!!!
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Meli Halstead is a kickass intuitive teacher who helps people realize their truth. She has held several workshops to help writers get their thoughts into book form and write their TRUTH. She has written and published several short stories in her life time. She also gives a voice to those who are trapped in the cruel world of human trafficking.
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